Two big brother posts in one here.

Last night, while the wife was out, I watched 1984 (the movie, not the year). Much like the book, the movie is brilliant. John Hurt is perfectly cast as Winston Smith, the poor unfortunate who dreams of a better future without The Party and Big Brother.

For those of you who haven’t read the book or seen the film, I’m not going to spoil it for you (well, not too much). But I am going to tell you about Room 101.

Now some of you may only know Room 101 as the series on BBC Two in which celebrities consign those things that they hate to Room 101.

But Room 101, as George Orwell tells it in 1984, is where the thing which you fear the most is kept. It might be spiders, it might be needles, it might be rats; whatever it is you’ll find it in Room 101.

And with that in mind, on to the other Big Brother.

I’m avoiding Big Brother (the Channel 4 series, for those of you lucky enough not to know) as it is one of the worst television series ever to be aired. It represents everything that is wrong with society (and with television) and the less we see of it, the happier we’ll all be.

So if people must be on Big Brother and if the show must produce another batch of z-list celebrities then I suggest that they do it right.

Introduce Room 101 into Big Brother.

Every week give the outgoing housemate a chance to win their minor celebrity status (and some money, because that’s what it’s all about - money and fame) by making them face their worse nightmare. If they’re shallow enough to want all the material stuff that BB brings then put them through hell.

Stick them on a rack, dangle them from extreme heights, put the cage of rats on their head. If they want the money and fame that much then they should suffer for it.

Too extreme? Maybe.

I know I’m having an extremely right-wing moment here but that’s just the way I feel about it. Big Brother offers very little in the way of entertainment value and shouldn’t be encouraged.

Do yourself a favour. Switch off the tv and read a book.

BigAl