Tonight mrBen, myself and a big gang of us are going to see Star Wars Ep3: The Redemption Of Lucas. And my main expectation isn’t the film, but the certainty that I’m going to be sitting near some sorry fool who talks/munches through the entire film.

And that pisses me right off. Some people just can’t understand that when the film is on they have to SHUT UP.

During Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy some inbred halfwit was sitting in front of me, shoveling popcorn into his mouth and proceeding to munch merrily away with an open mouth. You know the type. Those open-mouth eaters who have to let everyone near them know what their partially-chewed food looks and sounds like as it rattles about their over-sized gobs.

I’ve a similar problem at our video nights. Every two weeks Ruth and I hold video nights and generally they’re quite popular. Well, popular in the way that there’s always someone there other than just the two of us…

But at these video nights there are a few people who insist on the open-mouth eating and the talking through the film. You know who you are…

So tonight I’m going to take a length of bamboo to the cinema with me. And every time someone makes a sound that they shouldn’t, they’ll get it rattled off the top of their heads.

And to deal with the offenders at the video night?

It’s quite a drop from our third-floor flat…

BigAl

Sorry BigAl, but you don’t want to sit next to me then! Large popcorn for me

Damn straight BigAl, I can’t stand people who decide that the want to telling the person sitting next to them the entire plot as it unfolds, Just let the person watch the movie shit for brains, I am pretty sure they are capable of working out whats happening without your 2 minute updates!!!!

G.I

oh and people who sit in silence, but then proceed to start a conversation at the most bloody important part of the movie, you people make me want to bring a wall stapler to the cinema with me and staple your mouths shut!!!!!!!

rant over

G.I

I can live with a bid of the old munching - it’s the smell of those bloody nachos that makes me want to puke. It smells like a small dog has eaten a large amount of smelly french cheese, crawled into the cinema, had a bad case of diaorrhea, and then died. 3 weeks ago.

Grrrr